Thursday, March 29, 2012

Early Post-Op

I love that UCSD Medical Center uses an email system between doctors and their patients. I got an email from my surgeon's nurse on Tuesday, asking me to come in Wednesday for my post-op appointment.
The surgeon said I am healing nicely(probably due to ALL the naps I have been taking since surgery:) and most of the swelling has gone down. I still have numbness, which may stick around or could lessen as time goes on. After you have lymph nodes removed, they tell you to be extra careful, due to loss of protection and feeling on that side. I am not suppose to carry Bellen or a purse (or anything heavy) on my left side...ever. Hope I can remember this! It will seem so unnatural. Small price to pay to be cancer-free though, wouldn't you agree?
The pathology report wasn't completed yet, so hopefully it will be ready next week when I return to have my drains removed. The surgeon did give me hope that radiation isn't imminent! So, please keep praying for that...N-O Radiation please!

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Surgery Day

Surgery went great, according to the Surgeons. I was home within 24 hours, with pain managed. Although, it feels like an elephant has been sitting on my left arm & side for a very long time:)-the muscles are pretty sore. The normal thing to want to do is to not move my arm and baby it. But, just 11 hours after surgery the Occupational Therapist showed up with an exercise regiment that I am to do to keep from getting a stiff arm or losing any motion range. Needless to say, I am on it! Cancer won't take anything else from me, mark my word!
The whole process on Friday was surprisingly peaceful. I felt God's presence and did not have any fear. While we waited for me to be brought into the OR I read my Bible...letting it fall open to where it was suppose to, and God gave me this:

"O God you are my God; Early will I seek You; My soul thirsts for You; My flesh longs for You In a dry and thirsty land where there is no water. So, I have looked for you in the sanctuary, To see your power and your glory. Because your lovingkindness is better than life. My lips shall praise You. Thus I will bless you while I live. I will lift up my hands in Your name. My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness, And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips. When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches. Because you have been my help, Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice. My soul follows close behind You; Your right hand upholds me. But those who seek my life to destroy it, shall go into the lower parts of the earth.They shall fall by the sword. They shall be a portion for the jackals. But the King shall rejoice in God; Everyone who swears by Him shall glory; But the mouth of those who speak lies shall stop." Psalm 63

Now I just sit around and heal, not lifting anything heavier than a gallon of milk for 21 days. Needless to say, I am relying heavily on our parents, friends and Jason. More lessons in humility! I go back for a post-op check up April 2nd, where I will find out the results of the pathology report. Thank you so much for your prayers! I felt His peace, that surpasses all understanding, on Friday.
Ready to rock & roll...waiting to be taken to the OR

A delicious  liquid meal awaited me after surgery...Jello never tasted so good (since I hadn't eaten since 8am that morning)

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Calm before the Storm

It's the night before surgery..tomorrow night at this time I will have all the cancer out of me. "Good bye, I won't see you late, do not ever come back, go back where you came from"
The Lord has given me a great peace. So many have told me they are praying for me. It is overwhelming, really, how much support I have. When a girlfriend and I were walking this morning we ran into a women's Bible study group from our church, who were on a walk. They laid hands on me and prayed for me. It was a divine appointment, seeing them there at the park on this very day. God is so personal. I also ran into our Pastor at school/church when I went to pick up the kids and he prayed for me. Looking forward to having one more step behind me and getting one step closer to the end of this part of my journey!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

One of the best days...

...was this past Friday. The kids had no school, due to a Math Event that was being hosted at school. We were determined to make the most of the day! What to do?? Or, should I say, what not to do?? There were so many choices. We decided to pack a lunch and head out...on foot/bikes, ofcourse:). I am guessing we covered about 10 miles-which is alot when you have half a dozen people and more than half under the age of 10! We stopped at a playground and the beach on our way. It was definitely a "near perfect" day.
Bellen really wanted to touch the baby lobster we found.

Meran & Jameson found a crab and a lobster...don't worry, we put them back where we found them.
Looking for more marine life

She is on the verge of walking

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Surgery Date

I will be having my mastectomy on Friday, March 23rd about 3:30pm. Please pray for the doctor, Dr. Ann Wallace, the nurses, and me-that all the cancer is removed never to return, and that God would see fit that I might not have to have radiation-which is dependent on the final pathology report. Also, for a quick recovery!

Daddy & Daughter Date Night

Jason took Meran on a "date" Thursday night. She was so excited! Jason planned it all and surprised her. They ate at Island's (one of her favorites) and then walked around downtown La Jolla. There are Sea Lions that hang out by the water in La Jolla. Meran, being the animal lover that she is, begged her dad to take a pup home. She told him that she  knew that I wouldn't mind and that the Sea Lion pup could stay in the bathtub in our bathroom. It really cracked me up that she really thought she could talk her dad into taking the animal home! They ended the night with dessert at a fancy restaurant, where they ordered "mint chocolate chip lava cake". Meran was VERY impressed that her dad had called ahead and "reserved" the best seat for them. The whole night made quite an impression on her...which is the intention of "daddy date night"-setting a high expectation for her when she begins dating (which will be here before we know it, but not too soon:). Just like my dad did with me.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


Bellsie, baby sister, little mama, Bellsie-boo, Bells, chunky monkey, love bug...just  few of her nicknames.
She brings us great joy and is adored by everyone. No longer can be considered a "baby", having turned 1 in February. Our last born... Bellen Noelle. Her name means Bethlehem, born on Christmas morning (though she wasn't;) . We are so glad you are ours!

Tuesday, March 6, 2012


On Monday I was at Starbucks,  meeting a new friend (that was an encouragement in itself), when I met Zack. Zack is in his early to mid 20's, I am guessing, and uses crutches to get around. He also wears a hearing aide. When I met him, he was inquiring about me to Jason (again, I was rockin' the bald look:)-which drew his attention). After talking with him, I found out that Zack has benign tumors that grow on his neck & brain, for the last 10 years, causing him to have poor balance and is now causing hearing loss.
This was a great reminder to me of the temporary-ness of my situation. You see, I am tiring of looking like a hairless cat (no offense to cat-lovers). Very vain of me, I know.
So, the Lord reminded me Monday of the how I will be cured and done with treatment by next year at this time. But, Zack, like so many others with various physical ailments, will continue their battle. Yes, I will have regular check-ups and be on medicine as post-cancer treatment protocol. But, I will be back to "normal"-if there is such a thing:). I am writing this to myself mostly, so that I remember to reach out to those in need, as SO many have done to us and pray, as SO many have done on our behalf. And to find Joy in the hardships of life, no matter if they are physical, mental, tangible or not. God ordained it, I will accept it (usual and unfortunately after a temper tantrum) and will be honored that He saw me fit for this journey.

Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the Lord his God. Psalm 146:5

He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increase strength. Isaiah 40:29

Friday, March 2, 2012

An amazing thing happened today...

Jason and I walked to Panera this morning. That wasn't the amazing thing. We try to do this every Friday before he heads to work...a walk and coffee. As we got up and were getting the little ones settled in the jogger stroller, a teenage girl approached us. She had about 3 girlfriends with her, and one of them had a boyfriend. I assume they were walking to High Tech High (the high school here in Liberty Station), after getting breakfast at Panera.
She said (with tears in her eyes), "I just wanted to tell you that you are beautiful".
I figured she knew someone with cancer and she could tell that I was bald under my beanie.
I pointed to my head, "You know someone with cancer?"
She shook her head, "My mom had cancer". Her eyes started to brim over with tears.
"Oh" I said sympathetically, "did she pass away?"
She shook her head yes.
"Can I give you a hug?" she said.
I grabbed her and held her tight.
I whispered into her ear how brave she was and how I know how hard it is, what she has gone and still going through, but that she will be so strong from it.
We kept hugging, and as I looked up I noticed that all her friends were wiping their eyes.
I thanked her for making my day and we went our separate ways.
I told Jason afterwards that I wish I would have asked for her number.
The mother in me wanted to protect her from the pain she was feeling. There is no way that I could even come close to replacing her mother. And she doesn't even want that, I am sure. But I wanted to reassure her...about what, I am not completely sure. I just want to love on her. What a brave girl. What an insightful person she has become because of the pain she has been through with the loss of her mother to cancer.
I pray that I will see this girl again. And this time I won't let her get away;)!

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