But, this reminds me that my ways are not His ways. (Isaiah 55:8)
Just because I hear that my cancer is growing in 3 spots doesn't need to mean I lose hope. It's just a new "new and different". Only God knows the number of my days...secretly (but not now I guess) I'm glad I don't know how long I have. This will keep me on my toes!
So, together we talked about different treatments. There are 2 different targeted therapies that both tested positive for possibly working on "part" of my cancer's DNA (one FDA approved/one still in a trial period). Each of these drugs have to be paired with another drug, each for different reasons. And while this might seem promising, after hearing all the side effects, I think I'll put them off for as long as I can.
The reason being, my Dr said once I stop chemo, or any other drug, it's off the table, and you don't go back to it. I asked her a billion questions. She gave a billion answers.
Quality of life is so important(why I'm not doing iv chemo), and this is something both of us agree on. Who wants to have x amount of crappy years of always feeling tired, always needing to rest, not being able to be apart of my family's world, day in and day out? (*this is my opinion and I'm not knocking anyone who is undergoing iv chemo...cancer, unfortunately, if different for each person, requiring different treatments)
I choose to keep fighting through a balance of both holistic therapies and traditional medicine. I'll currently stay on the oral chemo and radiate the 3 spots that show activity...detoxing all the while;). If I'm able to, I may kick up hyperbaric therapy also. Uppercut, uppercut...take that crappy cancer!
So, that's where we are. And still, there is so so so much to be thankful for.
~no new spots showed up on the scan
~the fluid near my lung hasn't returned
~still feeling pretty good (though I currently have whatever is going around)
~I'm sooooo supported & encouraged through all of this by my cheer squad aka you;) (Truly thank you ALL for the messages, prayers, gifts...it helped me a lot this past week or two)
~God is still God, unchanging in character and loving me through it all
~that the chemo would kill the cancer cells, having new potency in me
~that radiation would be short & effective
~for my kids to not worry
~that God would be glorified