Entitlement & Contentment

We have been in SD for nearly 5 years and in my mind's eye we would be owning a house by now. My job (stay-at-home-mom) takes place mainly in the home, thus my house is my office. Truth be told, I'm tired of moving offices! I want to unpack boxes for the last time. 

We recently put our home, that we own in the Central Valley, up for sale. I started decorating my new SD house in my head as soon as that for sale sign went up! I didn't even care if the house we bought was tiny, old or needed lots of tlc...as long as it was ours. Well, our house never sold, and we have renters once again occupying it. I was thankful to have renters, but so disappointed we'd have to continue renting here in SD. I want to "own" my office...paint without asking, remodel if I thought the space could be used better. 

I was kind of having an internal pity party about it too.

Then, a few Sundays ago, during worship at church, the Lord spoke to my heart. I realized I had been living with a dream, that possibly was not the dream the Lord had for me. One of my main reasons for wanting a house is to plan for the future. If my health deteriorates, it seemed, in my mind, that I'd feel so much more peaceful if I knew Jason and the kids were set up in "our" home. It's hard to imagine them setting up house without me one day. I know, these are sad scenarios, but I'm just looking to the future...I'm a planner, what can I say!;)

But the Lord reminded me that He cares for Jason and the kids soooo much more than I do. It's hard to imagine, but I have to believe this, in faith, because He says it to be true in His word. And He does not go back on Him promises.

I think that the best for them is for us to own a house, but maybe it's not that big of a deal. And just because I think it is best, does NOT mean it is God's best, which of course is the best best!

We are all together. My kids are healthy. Jason has a job. We have a (nice) roof over our heads. Our basic needs are met and our cup overflows! Joy fills our house...of course not all the time, but a good amount of it. 

I felt entitled, like I should have a house. But seriously, who of us deserves anything? The word blessed is thrown around so much, but truly, we are. Perhaps the word Kharis is a better word...

Kharis: undeserved kindness (Ephesians 2:8). 

So I'm working on releasing my sense of entitlement and being content where I am and with what I have. And it feels good. 

                    Oh, and I realized we DO own a home, we just don't live in it!;)

Weekend Wrap

I have a blog post in my head, what the Lord has been teaching me this last week, but daylight savings time happened! I'm too tired to write at night, when I have time. Soon, I promise.

So, for now, here is what we did this weekend. Grandparents visited, Meran danced in Mary Poppins at school, the boys had baseball games, Jason ran his first half marathon and Meran had her cheer banquet. We are ready for Summer, but will settle for Spring break which starts in a few days! Yippee!

41 Year Milestone

Well, I'm 41! Every birthday is a blessing, each year a gift. Living with cancer, as I'm sure is true with any life long or threatening illness, helps to keep my perspective in check!:)

If ever, in a forgetful moment, you hear me complaining about getting old, please slap me ;). 

On my actual birthday, our family had a mini birthday party at home (since it was a school night). Jason took me out on a date that weekend, I celebrated with a girls-night-out-dinner a few nights later and wrapped it up with a weekend at Laguna Beach with some dear, college friends (a 23 year deep friendship).

I'm so thankful for all my people that love me and took time to celebrate life with me, making me feel special. Words just don't do it justice. Know that I love you and am so thankful to know you and have you be part of my 41st year of life (oh, and, thanks mom and dad;).