Finding faith without feeling it

This morning's devotion in Streams was a sweet reminder for me. 

My righteous one will live by faith. Hebrews 10:38

In this plush, every-physical-need-met, land of plenty, first world country that we live in, it is so common to have "bad moods" because we feel upset or unjustly wronged. (Cue very very tiny violin)

Let me set the stage of my most recent pity party and expose my flawed state...

Monday, sick child-me, catering to his every need and thinking, "yeah! I get to stay home allll day today"

Tuesday, sick child again-cancel my hair appointment, start fretting that the others will catch it and have to stay home too.

Wednesday, sick teen-cancel my massage, but because it's later than 24 hr notice I may still have to pay (grrrrrr :/ ). Fretting that she will still be sick for the opening of the school play and that the other 2 healthy ones will get sick too. 

It's official....I'm grumpy.

Hard to smile.

Very little joy, even though I try to pep talk myself into thinking "this too shall pass".

I'm a freakin' brat.

I finally recovered, thank you Jesus, apologized to my mom for being a storm cloud (because I had seen her in my state-o-glory) and thanked Jesus that my kids had the flu, not a terminal illness. I mean....so bratty.

I share this ridiculous, but true, scenario as proof of how we use our feelings as a faith gage-r.

I think I've shared before, that when I got word, back in late May of 2014, that my cancer was back and now considered stage 4 metastatic, that I experienced a dry season. I was literally on my face crying out to the Lord and nothing -------radio silence---------.

I "felt" nothing. I couldn't understand why He would desert me now? Why was He not comforting me? It was a hard, but real lesson that I have carried with me and has gently nudged me out of those seemingly dry times. 

"Lord, you are here. And though the bush before me does not seem to burn, it does burn. I will take the shoes from my feet, 'for the place where [I am] standing is holy ground." London Christian (as quoted in Streams)

It goes back to what I know about God and His unchanging character & Word. He said He will be there. He will be there.

Trust God's Word and His power more than you trust your own feelings and experiences. Remember, you Rock is Christ, and it is the sea that ebbs and flows with the tides, not Him. Samuel Rutherford (Streams in the Desert)

Bottom line, when the waves get rough, or even a little choppy, is it better to cling to that little dingy we brought with us because it's what we know? Or, shall we climb onto & cling to the Rock, the one that crashing waves cannot move and that's stood the test of time? 

Be strong and of good courage, do not fear [nor be afraid of them]; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.

Deuteronomy 31:6 nkjv

Thank you Lord that my feelings, always changing and often misplaced or inaccurate, are not all You left me with. 

May you find your faith in His steadfast Word and not be swayed by the every changing feelings!