A summer of "news"

    The past 3 months have been full of new things...

New-

1) home

2) community

3) health challenges

4) schools

5) church

6) schedules

7) job for Jason

8) sports

9) grocery store

10) target 

Okay, the last 2 aren't a huge deal, but, still takes some getting used to.;)

A week after school ended in May we left our beloved Point Loma community. It was another week and a half until we could move into our new home in Bonsall, so we were vagabonds for a short time. Housed by friends and family...so kind❤️. Around this time I had a scan and it revealed that my cancer was progressing on my liver, so I began Chemo.

Once we got settled into our home, which took quite awhile because I was fatigued from the chemo, we dove into our new surroundings...a new church, a new beach and the boys joined the Fallbrook swim team and water polo. These were sports both Jason and I did as youth and it's so fun to see them enjoying them now.

The 2 older kids began attending youth group, when we were in town, and began to connect. Our hope and prayer was that the Lord would provide a friend, so when they began their new schools in August it would ease the transition. 

The Lord, once again, went before us and chose the perfect teachers and friends for each of them. Of course, today is only day 3 of school but we already see how the Lord orchestrated these things! We are so grateful.

I had another scan in July and it showed that, even though I was doing iv chemo, the liver was getting worse. This has been very frustrating and I've really had to work through this with the Lord. (Probably why I haven blogged in awhile truthfully;) ) I stopped the chemo and 2 weeks ago I began yet another targeted therapy (supposedly blocking the cancer pathways). I will have another scan in September. I have not had many side effects from this new med duo, however, I did have to make a Sunday night ER visit a few weeks ago and found out I had pneumonia, due to my compromised immune system.  I'm on the mend, feeling much better, but still not 100%. Praising the Lord it was just pneumonia though, and not another issue from cancer!

Because it seems like I'm flying through treatment options, I decided in June to pursue a second opinion at City of Hope. I'm so thankful that I have this option and that after 2 1/2 months and countless hours back and forth with my insurance, it was FINALLY approved! Praise be to God. Only through his mercy did this happen. My appointment is this Wednesday. My sweet dad will be taking me up there and my kind mom will be holding down the fort because(takes a village!)....praise the Lord, Jason got a new job! Full time with benefits. 

That is a whole other story about God's timing and learning hard lessons on waiting and God's provision when it seems so stressful. 

This, by far, cancer diagnosis aside, has been the hardest, most stressful, uncertain summer of our lives. But, with it has come growth as a couple, as a family, lessons on waiting for God's timing when you literally have zero choice, and hope. Sweet hope. Where would we be with out HOPE? 

We are thankful that God allows us to experience Him in this way. He is our Hope. And we will look to Him because without Him there is no hope, in this life, or eternity. 

I have faith in God that it will happen just as he told me. Acts 27:25

There is never a majestic mountain without a deep valley, and there is no birth without pain.

Daniel Crawford, streams in the desert

    High School-10th:)

    Middle School-6th!

    Our 3rd grader:)

    Kinder for this little!

Birthday Boy (the last preteen year)

Today, Jameson turns 12.

He is named after my Papa, James. Not the whiskey:). Jameson means son of Jameson. 

He has green eyes, the only one of our 4 without brown, taking after both of his light-eyed grandmas.

He is witty, loves to laugh and goof around.

He is friendly to all. Seeking out friends wherever we may move, vacation or visit.

He also has a tender heart and can pray in a heartfelt and honest way. 

He likes to have fun, a lot. He also loves to get his haircut and is enjoying creating his personal style...wouldn't expect less though, from this creative boy.

He is confident and takes the stage with poise, but can also shy away from things he doesn't feel like he can perfect.

He shoulders much with grace and expresses his fears openly so we can walk and process life's challenges together, while we have this privilege.

He is a sports fanatic, changing with each season. And when he plays on a team he is de-di-cated! 

In fact, he is not only a dedicated team player, but also, a loyal friend. 

I'm thankful God entrusted him to Jason and Me. He brings us joy, challenges us, makes our family complete, as do all our children. 

Happy 12th Birthday Jameson Wesley.❤️

My verse for you Jameson...

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:16

Round one ✔️

The port procedure went smooth and I'm happy with the placement...not too noticeable. And even though i still won't admit I'm okay with having a foreign thing in my body, it did make chemo pretty seamless today.
Praying it does it's job.
Update on the trial. I'm not eligible to participate because it's for triple negative breast cancer, and I am not.
Looking into other back up plans. Butttt I'd rather this just have this drug work. AND keep my hair (please Lord let me be in the 70%) :)
Coveting your prayers for effect chemo and death to cancer!

New and unwelcomed news.

So, Wednesday's scan results weren't "good". But God is good. The scan results don't change that...let me just make that clear.

However, I'm gonna need to kick it up a notch on the fight on this uphill battle.

I've said it before and I'm saying it again...I won't go down easy! Planning on kicking some cancer-ass (yes, it's ok to cuss when it comes to cancer;). 

The scan showed the cancer in my stomach area that we had seen whenever I had surgeries where they put the internal camera inside, but never showed up on a scan....until this week. It's also increased its presence on my liver and also near or kind of on the small and large intestine.  I had been feeling a little discomfort this past week or so on my left side so I figured there was something going on. 

There were 3 treatment options on the table. I'm choosing to do the most immediate and drastic first, which is iv chemo, thru a port (boooooooo:( ). Supposedly only 30% of those on this chemo lose there hair and I reallllllly hope I'm in the other 70 percent. Been there done that. Plus, I feel like it's so much easier on the kids if I don't "look" sick. 

The second treatment is a trial drug that actually opens today, but in order to retrieve my old tumor, test it and do the paperwork, we are looking at a 15-20 day start day from now. I don't like the idea of the cancer getting to have its way until then, so I'm choosing this iv chemo (which will begin next week) and if it doesn't work I'll switch to the trial, once approved.

Praise be to God I have great peace amidst this storm. It does seem, of course, really poor timing as I'm suppose to start packing because we move at the end of this month, but will be starting chemo instead. Maybe I'll just give everything away to make it easier ;). 

This morning I woke up with Psalms 23:4 running thru my head

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

I'm learning what this really means! Finding true comfort as I walk this road through the valley, shadowed by death. If I just keep my eyes straight ahead, focused on Jesus, the shadows don't seem as threatening, and I can still walk through the valley and enjoy the good things that are along the way.

Please pray for Jason, the kids and our families, as they wear the heaviest burden of watching through this process. Pray for God's healing for my body. This is the God who separated the ocean, flooded the lands but spared Noah his family and 2 of every kind of animal, allowed a small boy to take down a giant with one stone, who created the heaven and earth, who kept himself on the cross for the love of us....I know HE CAN heal me. 

Finding faith without feeling it

This morning's devotion in Streams was a sweet reminder for me. 

My righteous one will live by faith. Hebrews 10:38

In this plush, every-physical-need-met, land of plenty, first world country that we live in, it is so common to have "bad moods" because we feel upset or unjustly wronged. (Cue very very tiny violin)

Let me set the stage of my most recent pity party and expose my flawed state...

Monday, sick child-me, catering to his every need and thinking, "yeah! I get to stay home allll day today"

Tuesday, sick child again-cancel my hair appointment, start fretting that the others will catch it and have to stay home too.

Wednesday, sick teen-cancel my massage, but because it's later than 24 hr notice I may still have to pay (grrrrrr :/ ). Fretting that she will still be sick for the opening of the school play and that the other 2 healthy ones will get sick too. 

It's official....I'm grumpy.

Hard to smile.

Very little joy, even though I try to pep talk myself into thinking "this too shall pass".

I'm a freakin' brat.

I finally recovered, thank you Jesus, apologized to my mom for being a storm cloud (because I had seen her in my state-o-glory) and thanked Jesus that my kids had the flu, not a terminal illness. I mean....so bratty.

I share this ridiculous, but true, scenario as proof of how we use our feelings as a faith gage-r.

I think I've shared before, that when I got word, back in late May of 2014, that my cancer was back and now considered stage 4 metastatic, that I experienced a dry season. I was literally on my face crying out to the Lord and nothing -------radio silence---------.

I "felt" nothing. I couldn't understand why He would desert me now? Why was He not comforting me? It was a hard, but real lesson that I have carried with me and has gently nudged me out of those seemingly dry times. 

"Lord, you are here. And though the bush before me does not seem to burn, it does burn. I will take the shoes from my feet, 'for the place where [I am] standing is holy ground." London Christian (as quoted in Streams)

It goes back to what I know about God and His unchanging character & Word. He said He will be there. He will be there.

Trust God's Word and His power more than you trust your own feelings and experiences. Remember, you Rock is Christ, and it is the sea that ebbs and flows with the tides, not Him. Samuel Rutherford (Streams in the Desert)

Bottom line, when the waves get rough, or even a little choppy, is it better to cling to that little dingy we brought with us because it's what we know? Or, shall we climb onto & cling to the Rock, the one that crashing waves cannot move and that's stood the test of time? 

Be strong and of good courage, do not fear [nor be afraid of them]; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.

Deuteronomy 31:6 nkjv

Thank you Lord that my feelings, always changing and often misplaced or inaccurate, are not all You left me with. 

May you find your faith in His steadfast Word and not be swayed by the every changing feelings!

Still and here

Wow! I didn't realize it's been close to 3 months since I last blogged! Shame. On. Me.

No excuse. Except perhaps that I have so much going on in my head & soul that I often get overwhelmed thinking about blogging it and wondering if instead of a blog entry, it may turn into a book chapter.....hmmmm, that's an idea. 

I digress. 

Ok, bottom lines first...then I'll unpack what God has been doing and how He has been moving in unexpected, fresh and gloriously gracious ways in the Neese household this 2017, since it has been since last year that I've shared:/. (Oops)

1. Had a scan. Disease progression...9 new spots on my liver.

2. Starting oral chemo again tomorrow! (Yeah! Let's do this!)

3. Moving to the northern most tip of San Diego County, a peaceful, rolling hill, growing stuff, kinda little town, by the name of Bonsall, after school gets out.

4. Attending a new church

2017 met us with lots of uncertainty. Jason's time at The Rock Church had come to an end. We were praying and searching for what the Lord had for us next. Stay in SD? Go? 

And as you would expect, each decision we make is closely followed by the question of my healthcare and how any changes may affect my care. 

We thought He was moving us one way, and then it seemed He wasn't. We took a week or two to just. Be. Still. 

(Deep, cleansing breathe sigh here)

This stillness and rest was exactly where we needed to be. I often see my life in themes, or chapter titles. This season, or chapter seems to be titled, "being still and resting in Him". 

It's as though Jesus lifted a cloth, and revealed what He had next for us....it wasn't hard, or confusing and really, once we stopped and just rested in Him, it was revealed. 

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden and overburdened, and I will cause you rest. (I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls)

Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls. [jer.6:16]

Matthew 11:28-29 ampc

This time, of new jobs, new school, new church and new community, could very well be scary and intimidating if our eyes were not on the One who led us here. 

Jason and I both feel that this time is such a gift. A season of rest and newness. 

Unexpected Adventure. 

While we love our school community and neighborhood, we know that our time here has come to an end and to try to stay would be to miss blessings and growth that the Lord has for each of us! My parents are graciously letting us live on some property they have and we have found a new community we know we will soon love. 

As for my sneaky cancer, amazingly some previous spots have shrunk or stayed the same. But there are 9 new spots on my liver. Grrrrrrr. The liver cannot be operated on to remove the spots (one of my first questions :) and one needs their liver to survive, sooo I've opted to move from my targeted therapy to an oral chemo drug that I was on previously, that seemed to work on my cancer. However, I went off this oral chemo after my heart episode. I am not convinced that the heart episode in January 2016 was related to the oral chemo not working, but rather the radiation I was undergoing at the time. So, my oncologist is allowing me to give it another run. We will watch my heart closely and have a scan in 2 months to see if I'm getting the desired results on those spots on my liver (aka kicking it's butt).

Specifically praying....heal the liver!:) please join me!!

Other than that I've been feeling so "normal!" 

We enjoyed a ski trip with friends to Tahoe, thanks to their generosity ;).

We celebrated Bellen's 6th birthday. (Something I wasn't convinced I'd see when I was diagnosed before she even had her first birthday) praise be to God!

And Jason and I enjoyed our first trip to Seattle, to celebrate my 42nd birthday, traveling with friends.

We are attending a new church. Even this has been a new experience because we have always attend where Jason was employed. It's a new season of rest, even in this. 

Today's message was especially soul filling, reinforcing the season of rest that the Lord has begun to show us even this past month or so. You know when you read a Devo or hear a message and think,"thank you Lord, I know this was your divine plan that I hear this word, right now!"

That was today. And practically ever devotion I've read this pas month in Streams in the Desert! A girlfriend and I joke almost daily after reading Streams, that, yep, God wrote that just for me!

My heart is full of joyful gratitude. God is walking this journey close, so close with me. So many gifts and sweet personal blessings.

Oh friend, how I hope you feel Him in your every day. Rest in Him. He loves you. He has the perfect plan for your life. And He is with you, every step of the way. May your soul find rest in Him.

Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And His courts with praise. Be thankful to Him, and bless His name. Psalms 100:4 nkjv

*seattle photo creds: sarah mortimore

Gratitude exclaims, very properly, "how good of God to give me this" ~C.S.Lewis

It was 2 weeks before Christmas....

Full hands, full heart. Here is a photo dump of how we have been spending our hours these weeks leading up to Christmas!!

    I had the privilege of sharing my God story at our former church, at the ladies Christmas Dinner.

    Also got to hang out with my mother-in-law and sis-in-laws with no kids in tow (girl time!)

 

    Kids had their Christmas performances (didn't get a picture of the big brother 😐)

    My baby brother's baby turned 1🍰!

    Meran and I cut lots of inches off our hair...ready for the new year 😉

    We attended the For King & Country/Lauren Daigle Christmas Concert.

    Lauren D's music has meant a lot to me these past 2 years, often her lyrics say to God what I can't formulate on my own. So, when we left the concert a bit early and ran into her in the back parking lot you can imagine our delight!! The bummer was that Meran & Alexa stayed til the end, so they missed out on this photo opp/meet and greet. But, I was able to tell her how her music blesses me. What a cool thing the Lord did for us❤️

    Then there is this girl....fashionista in the making!

Merry Christmas! Jesus is so good. May His unending love fall afresh on your Christmas season.

"Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel," which is translated, "God with us". Matthew 1:23

Anti-ugly goal

With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God. Out of the same mouth comes both blessing and cursing. These things, my brothers, should not be this way (for we have a moral obligation to speak in a manner that reflects our fear of God and profound respect for His precepts.)

James 3:9-10

Ouch. This verse of the day slapped me in the face this morning as I ritually pulled up the bible app to read just a drop of God's word before my feet hit the ground running. Have you ever come out of a surprisingly painful time and want to hurl back the same ugliness?

Yuck, I can't stand my flesh response. James 3:9-10 is the best reminder to control our tongue.

You know that saying, "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me...."

Completely false.

We doubly know this with all the bully-ing that occurs in our schools. We told ourselves this rhyme and I guess we believed ourselves, because now we have to have campaigns agains bullying, it's gotten so bad.

And while we don't look at it the same or use campaigns to fight it, it happens in the adult world too. Just another reminder that we live in a fallen world and satan is still sneaking around, trying to trip us up.

But then GOD! Always there to remind us and give us tools to not fall into our flesh. Not on our own strength but God's. There to keep our hearts soft, to hold our tongue, to soothe the wounds and remind us that He gives us hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). 

Repay no one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves...

Romans 12:17-19

Ohhh this is so easy to say and so hard to do! Only by the power of the Holy Spirit. 

So today I am reminded, which came in God's perfect timing, to push away my "flesh" response of wanting to repay evil for evil, and keep seeking Jesus, to keep my heart soft so that I may be a useable vessel. Because an ugly heart makes for a cracked and broken vessel, which can only be used if it's melted down and reshaped. He can do that. So thankful for God's grace. I need it so. Always available, never running dry, God's grace. 

Healthy Soul

"Hurt people hurt people" that's what the pastor said,  still ringing in my ears from over a week ago. It not a new thought, but I'm seeing it in a different light now. We are all hurt people because we are human, sinners, and flawed. This happened back in the Garden and my kids like to say they'd do it different if it were them in that garden. But let's be real, we would have done the same....because otherwise there would not be a need for the cross...and we know THAT could never be. But, I'm basically the furthest thing from a theologian, so let's move on;).

Hurt people....that's us. It's me, it's you. From the past, in the current situation, probably in the future. We all make mistakes, we all fall into momentary flesh moments, saying the wrong thing, choosing the wrong words or actions. This could be really depressing if we were left to ourselves.

But PRAISE be to GOD we aren't left.

We are claimed and paid for. At top dollar, not even at discount. How's that for valuable! Jesus gave over to God's Will on the cross (John 19:30) ...

And IT WAS FINISHED. 

So don't go back. Don't regress. Keep moving forward and cling onto the hope you are given. Keep hold of the promise that you are a new creation in Christ (2 Cor 5:17) and His promises are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). If you stay healthy you won't hurt. (Duh, Britton)

If you keep your heart filled with Jesus and just Jesus (not man, organization, theme, title, or goal) you won't hurt...and then you won't hurt. 

Healthy people help people. 

Ephesians 3:16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being.

Practice spiritual health. Be a vitamin for a soul. 

Jesus...just Jesus. 

No Supplements needed.

Burned.

On our son Sutton's 2nd birthday he touched a hot exhaust pipe and received a third degree burn on his sweet baby hand. We immersed his hand in a cup of ice water in attempts to soothe the horrible burning sensation, then sped off to the hospital. If he took his hand out, or when the water no longer was cold, the burning sensation would intensify. It.was.horrible! As a mother I wanted to take away the pain. But we relied on the dr and nurses to tell us how to treat it and care for his precious baby hand, so that it would heal correctly, with minimal damage. They gave us special cream that soothed the skin and told us to keep it wrapped. But, he was required to move his hand a few times a day so that the skin did not heal wrong and restrict his hand movement. 

Though we cannot always see it, such it is with us when we are burned by others, or we do the burning.

We are a world of hurting and broken people. And while we try our best to do God's work, and abide in His will, we so often fall short, accidentally injuring those around us. 

Sometimes this is purposeful and sometimes it is accidental because, we are, after all, all sinners who fall short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23)

Instead of having "hurt feelings" and curling up in a ball, we can instead, have an eternal perspective on this and ask, "God, how are you using this to refine me?". (Cue ice water)

In Daniel 3 King Nebuchadnezzar furiously throws Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego into the blazing furnace...cranked up so hot, it killed the men carrying these 3 up to the furnace. But, the 3 were not only safe from the crazy hot flames, the Lord was with among them.(Daniel 3:25)

So it is when we go through a trial, fiery and painful....we can be 100% certain that God is with us and has a plan. (Jeremiah 29:11-13) We can call out to Him and He will listen. 

Everything is God's, including our lives. So will He not even use your painful circumstances to His glory?

I love the reminder in Isaiah 54:17 

"No weapon that is formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue that accuses you in judgement You will condemn. This is our heritage of the servants of the Lord and their vindication is from Me, declares the Lord.

May God's word be ointment to your burn.

Soothing your soul and healing it in a way that does not leave permanent damaged.

Giving Thanks for Thanksgiving

At age 41, I just prepared my very first Thanksgiving dinner! It was so fun, what was I so nervous about ?! Okay, I prepared all the main food, with the exception of the ham and turkey, which probably is considered the hardest part ;). But, if the Honey Baked Store is willing to cook them, why would I steal that business from them!? :) I'm so thankful to be physically able to host my family. It seems like such a simple thing...hosting a dozen people, cooking the food, setting the table, washing the dishes...not something I thought I'd be doing when I got rediagnosed 2 1/2 years ago with metastatic breast cancer. The future felt so "unknown" back then. It's still unknown, but I'm learning to not be scared just because I don't know, because God does.

I'm reminded constantly that it's so important to see where God has brought you, and from what you have been spared from (whether it be physical, spiritual or emotional place of hurting) or healed of, or sustained through. Because from that recognition of His movement in your life comes deep gratitude. 

I Thessalonians 5:18 says it perfectly-

In every situation be thankful and continually give thanks for God, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.

Giving thanks with a grateful heart. 

Happy heart?? Thank God!

Thank God=happy heart

See how that works?

Practice makes (near) perfect :)

    My youngest Turkey

   Three Generations 

Hali'a aloha

Fond memories were made last week in O'ahu. We spent the week with both my brothers and their families, along with my parents, who generously made it all happen! What is it about being on the islands? Is it the perfect breeze, the smell of the ocean and air, the gorgeous landscape, the friendly, laid back people, the sunshine (which feels completely different then it does here in CA). Perhaps it's all of them together, coupled with being there with my favorite people? 

A week hardly seems enough time, although I'm very aware it's more time them some get at all. We are never ready to leave, and the 6 of us took turns for 2 days after returning, saying, "I miss Hawaii" or "I wish we were in Hawaii still". Spoiled? Perhaps.... But also very, very thankful and full of gratitude that we got to have this week. No appointments, no tests, no shots, no homework (ok, kids did some on the plane ride each way;), no work...and we got to spend all day together, every day. Pretty much my idea of paradise, this side of true paradise.

Mahalo mom and dad for the vacation. Mahalo Jesus, for giving us another year to be together, to make Hawaiian memories.

A visit to the North Shore/Turtle Bay~

 

The Pool~

The Beach~

Adventures to Diamond head...

And Hanauma Bay~

Lots of treats~

More Beach~

And tourist stuff....

The Why

It's still several days until we leave for our trip, but we are almost completely packed! Partly because I'm a planner and partly because we are so exciiiiited!

Two years ago, I had just had surgery, removing my ovaries and 2 tumors. After recovery we headed to Hawaii, along wth my brothers and their families, courtesy of my sweet & generous parents.

This year, it's my mom who just had surgery (last month) and again, we are all rendezvousing in Hawaii. I mean, can you think of a better place to rest and rejuvenate together? 

So grateful. So, so grateful.

Thinking about the past 2 years, I am realizing the reason I ask "why" has changed for me. At first it was "Why Lord. Why would you give me 4 children, just to possibly be taken away from them prematurely and leave them motherless" 

"Why do I have to walk through cancer again"

These whys were asked out of a place of desperation and sadness. Totally understandable.

But in the midst of these challenging 2+ years since my metastatic diagnosis I have come to a deeper, more trusting relationship with Jesus. Not that He has anything to prove to me, because even if He did, I'm 100% sure the cross covers that. But because He is omniscient (all knowing, all wise, all seeing) He knew that I'd have these why moments. Because He is omnipotent (having unlimited power, able to do anything) He has given me sweet friendships, conversations, soul-feeding devotions and space & time to process these past 2+ years, in which I'm still ALIVE and for the most part WELL. And because He is omnipresent (everywhere at the same time) I can have full confidence knowing He "will never leave me, nor forsake me", as It says in Deuteronomy 31:6, "but to be strong and courageous". No matter how long this journey may continue.

Truthfully, I've never been through a tougher season, pound for pound, as these past 5 years. Not just my disease and its progression, but also a relocation, new job, new school, new community, new church and then our family members...walking with them through losses and more disease. 

But, in the same breathe, I will tell you that I've never ever learned so much about the unchanging character of God, myself, caught a glimpse of what God has for me and growth in our marriage, all at the same time.

So, having walked this path thus far, my "why" has changed.

Now it is (mostly) like...

"Lord, why are you so good to me."

"Why have you been so merciful?"

These whys are out of a place of eucharisteo. A heart full of gratitude, because I know He will meet me at every corner, twist, turn...wait, not meet me but rather be with me.

And His answer doesn't change...

Because He doesn't change.

He loves me.

And He loves you.

The Lord is my light, and he saves me.

Why should I fear anyone?

The Lord is my place of safety. 

Why should I be afraid.

Here is something I am still sure of.

I will see the Lord's goodness while

I'm still alive.

Wait for the Lord.

Be strong and don't lose hope.

Wait for the Lord.

Psalm 27:1,13-14

A Tardy Update

I feel the need to state the obvious....I have been terrible at keep the blog current! Sorry!

This could mean one of two things;)...I'm either procrastinating, or so busy (which isn't a good excuse, because who isn't busy, right?). Well, the answer is both. So, here we go-the abridged version.

I had a scan and while most everything was stable (praise!) I did have 2 spots, one new and one a bit larger, near my aorta (prayer request). In attempt to stay on top of the disease progression, we came to the agreed decision of switching one of my 2 meds. Now instead of a second daily pill, I receive 2 shots every two weeks. I'm truthfully feeling good and am thankful for where God has me. 

School, soccer and football season is in full swing! Meran is cheering again, as well a member of the dance team. So, our Friday nights usually are spent at high school football games...and we love it. Bellen, Sutton & Jameson are playing soccer and Jason is coaching all 3 teams. In addition, Jameson is playing flag football at school, and has weekly games. This is so fun for him because he loves football but I can't get past the movie, Concussion (if you've seen it, you'll understand). So, for now, flag football will have to be his "football" outlet.

Another prayer request is that my mom has cancer. Or is it, had cancer? She had surgery last month to remove 2 tumors and the dr believes he got it all. She will begin chemo in a few weeks. And then, we are praying that we can close that door for good!

Through all the busy-ness, news, health concerns, memories made, God remains the same. Still faithful, all knowing, all powerful, all merciful....

This verse has come to my mind a lot recently-

The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. John 10:10