Sunday, August 23, 2015

My Truth North

It's a bit ironic that I keep a blog because I am not eloquent at all. Both my brothers got that gene (if there is one). One is a Lawyer and the other has his Phd and is both an author & professor. I like to joke that I got the "common sense" (haha bros;). 
Often I have ideas or lessons I've learned floating around up there, but don't get them out the same way they appear in my head.
For example, last year I was going to be prayed for by Pastor Miles and the Rock staff at a staff meeting. When Pastor Miles asked me to give an update about my health, I stated that this had been the richest past few months because of all the lessons I'd learned and the sweet time of being drawn so close to God during the hardness of learning that I had cancer throughout my body. He asked if I wanted to be prayed for, for healing. I hesitated and said, "I do but..." 
I couldn't adequately explain why, while Part of me did want to be cancer-free, I also felt this never before feeling and knowledge of God and his mercies and goodness, even in the midst of the discomfort, surgery, continual findings of cancer and the uncertainty of what could be done for me.
I just couldn't eloquate it.

This morning, while listening to (Pastor) Tommy teach I took mad notes because he was explaining how I was a way I couldn't formulate on my own. (Thanks Tommy!)
Among other passages, He spoke out of James 1:2,
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

He talked about how we are to study God's word so that we are informed by His teaching so we are prepared for the storms. Perhaps these years of cancer are preparing me for something else coming, or perhaps He has been preparing me for this storm of cancer, or maybe both!
But what he said next hit my thought-nail on the head!!

We might hate (it) in the beginning but start to love (it) if it's your true north.

That's what I was trying to communicate last year to Pastor Miles and the staff. I hated, hated, hated receiving that diagnosis last summer. I spent more time then I ever had on my knees and prostrate-making my bedroom rug wet with tears. I begged God to let it not be cancer. We all have those moments, don't we? When we wish sooooo bad God would give us what we want. But it's in those times of surrendering our will over to Him that we find our true strength. It's so not what the world says strength is, but as we can see, that way isn't working too well, is it? 
Strength in Surrender. 
And so, I began to love where I am. I don't love cancer, but I love where He has brought me while having cancer. Seriously, I couldn't be more blessed. To have the struggles of cancer while still being able to be the mom, wife, friend that I desire to be. My cup overflows.

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

And They're Off...

...Out the starting gates to 1st, 4th & 8th grade! Feels like we were just doing this a few months ago, though it's been a year since our last first day of school. And, because next year Bellen will join the uniformed crew, entering kindergarten, and because Meran will enter high school, I know, no doubt, that this year will fly by at mighty speeds! Go Warriors!

Saturday, August 15, 2015

Summer Wind Down

Sadly, our summer is coming to a close and school starts on Monday. We love our school and the kids are ready to get back with their friends...but, wouldn't you agree that there is something fabulous about the carefree-ness and non-structure of summer?? Even though I feel like we could use a few more weeks, Monday will come regardless of my feelings, so we have packed in the fun (hence my lack of blogging).

Celebrated this handsome, best friend of a husband & fab father turning the big 4-0!

FCA baseball camp for these two baseball fans

College Roomie Annual Get Together (minus our blonde part:(-we missed you Candace!)

    Padres Game...whoop-whoop
  Finally Tried the Aquatica WaterPark!

Fresh Haircuts and Ice Cream!

One last trip to the beach on " summer time "

Later Summer...

Saturday, August 1, 2015

Supportive Oligonucleotide Technique

The S.O.T. Treatment went smooth on Wednesday. I was put on a few more supplements and I'll go back in a month to have another check up. But, to see how well this treatment works on my cancer, I'll have to have it the needed 16 weeks to "do it's job". Can't wait to see what it does!

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