Have you ever driven by a bad accident and wanted to look, wondering what was going on, who was hurt, so curious...but, at the same time, you don't want to look, afraid of what you might see, picturing yourself or a loved one in that situation.
This was me today.
I have read Kara Tippett's blog mundanefaithfulness from time to time. It had been awhile since I'd checked it and decided to do so today. You see, even though we are strangers, Kara and I have much in common. We are both married to Jason (different ones Ofcourse;). Both of these Jasons are pastors. We both have 4 children. We both love Jesus. We both have metastatic breast cancer. The difference between us is that she has just ended treatment. Ended, not finished. Ended because there is no longer anything medicine can do for her. She is beginning hospice care. She gracefully, honestly and with great faith, is living her final days.
It hits very close to home.
How deep does our commonality go?
I could really let my mind roll quickly down that steep, slippery slope of despair. And we all know how quickly momentum is picked up once we start the fall. It's not called the "snowball effect" for nothing!
However, I recalled a conversation I had yesterday with a friend...she was sharing how she was learning to trust God in ALL things, for the long haul. And it really resonated with me. It's only been just 8 months since the re-diagnosis. It could be 8 more years...or 18...or 80! The Lord only knows. And I'm going to choose to trust Him each day, each week, each month. I will trust Him in the good news, the sketchy news and the super crappy news. I'm going to trust Him deep. And through the trusting I'll see more clearly how this isn't my real life, it's just the precursor to my eternal life.
Trusting Him deep, Into the great unknown.
Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You.
rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer..
Kara's blog: mundanefaithfulness
She also has a book, The Hardest Peace, that I own but have yet to read because I'm not ready.