Monday, November 16, 2015

Appointment Update

Jason and I met with Dr Helsten today. The shock and disappointment from last week's scan results have lost its sharpness and become our new reality. That's how it goes...we get comfortable where we are at (danger zone!) and then "new and different" barges in, uninvited, and slaps us in the face when we are just going about our business. 
But, this reminds me that my ways are not His ways. (Isaiah 55:8)
Just because I hear that my cancer is growing in 3 spots doesn't need to mean I lose hope. It's just a new "new and different". Only God knows the number of my days...secretly (but not now I guess) I'm glad I don't know how long I have. This will keep me on my toes!
So, together we talked about different treatments. There are 2 different targeted therapies that both tested positive for possibly working on "part" of my cancer's DNA (one FDA approved/one still in a trial period). Each of these drugs have to be paired with another drug, each for different reasons. And while this might seem promising, after hearing all the side effects, I think I'll put them off for as long as I can. 
The reason being, my Dr said once I stop chemo, or any other drug, it's off the table, and you don't go back to it. I asked her a billion questions. She gave a billion answers. 
Quality of life is so important(why I'm not doing iv chemo), and this is something both of us agree on. Who wants to have x amount of crappy years of always feeling tired, always needing to rest, not being able to be apart of my family's world, day in and day out? (*this is my opinion and I'm not knocking anyone who is undergoing iv chemo...cancer, unfortunately, if different for each person, requiring different treatments)
I choose to keep fighting through a balance of both holistic therapies and traditional medicine. I'll currently stay on the oral chemo and radiate the 3 spots that show activity...detoxing all the while;).  If I'm able to, I may kick up hyperbaric therapy also. Uppercut, uppercut...take that crappy cancer! 
So, that's where we are. And still, there is so so so much to be thankful for. 
~no new spots showed up on the scan
~the fluid near my lung hasn't returned 
~still feeling pretty good (though I currently have whatever is going around)
~I'm sooooo supported & encouraged through all of this by my cheer squad aka you;) (Truly thank you ALL for the messages, prayers, helped me a lot this past week or two)
~God is still God, unchanging in character and loving me through it all
~that the chemo would kill the cancer cells, having new potency in me
~that radiation would be short & effective
~for my kids to not worry
~that God would be glorified

1 comment:

  1. You are simply amazing you gain all your strength from our Heavenly Father as it should be. He is the one who will keep you focused give you clarity for decisions and keep you at peace. God will keep Jason and the kids very close to Him and will comfort them and allow His love to wrap them and give them peace. You are an amazing mom and wife, I see it in how you write how you express everything you are going through, I know you love your family so much and your are such an amazing daughter of our Heavenly Father. I am praying right along side you and you know there is so many more. You are a blessing to me to be able to pray for for. Martha


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